Some ways to tell if you are having a rainy day
Last week, Phil McFadden, co-owner of Home Instead Senior Care of West Chester, and I embarked on our new radio program on WCHE 1520, “50+ Planning Ahead,” that we will co-host live every week on Wednesdays from 4:30 to 5 p.m. We will be having guests and the call-in format that was delayed for the first week will be in full force Wednesday for our second show, so readers and listeners can call in.
One subject I wanted to discuss on the air is how you can know when you are having a rainy day. This might not seem an obvious topic so I wanted to provide some initial observations.
Many people save their entire lives, putting aside funds for when they might need them later or in the hopes of passing them on to their children. It is true, also, there are others who, despite their best efforts, struggle every day. Their question is somewhat different.
The issue might be rephrased as “how much is enough to save and when should I use it?” or how much can we safely spend.
Americans, on the whole, are an independent group. When it comes to bringing additional assistance into the home and paying for it, we sometimes resist both because we think we can do it all alone and because we do not want to have to reach into our savings to get help.
We need to know when we are having a rainy day and what to do about it.
Phil and I have discussed the reluctance to obtain non-medical, at-home assistance for a fee as a problem where first people may say they do not need it and then, later, their condition has worsened to the point that they need hospital or in-facility care.
Along the same lines, some people believe that companionship, meal preparation, errand-running, paperwork and all of the many non-medical tasks associated with care for more frail seniors should be provided by the children. I see many adult children in the office who appear exhausted.
When I raise the idea of “pay as you go” to compensate children or others who run these tasks, there can be resistance. People want to leave an inheritance when they could just have a written family agreement to pay their children for the work they do now.
Here is my “rainy day” story and it may help to describe my point of view.
Years ago my mother described how, when my father’s company, General Electric, underwent restructuring, Dad was caught in an extremely difficult position. Not only was he, the father of six children, not advanced in the move but his income was reduced and he was assigned to work under a fellow employee who he did not like and who he had previously supervised.
In deciding what to do when many others caught in similar situations resigned, my mother hit on an unexpected solution. Her words, when she repeated them later to me, were still enthusiastic.
“Remember how we always said we were saving for a rainy day,” she asked. “Well, today is the rainy day.”
They took some funds they had set aside and paid the remaining balance on the home mortgage. Then, they went shopping — not for large, extravagant gifts but for a few small items that would make them feel less lost.
Their decision turned out to be a good one. Eventually my parents pulled out.
These are the lessons I took from my mother’s story:
First. We should save or at least plan for rainy days. Saving and debt avoidance are important and if we do not have savings or if we are in debt, then we need to see what adjustments might be made to deal with it.
Second. We need to know when to stop saving, even if briefly, and recognize we are going through a rainy day. Then we use these resources to make our lives better and more tolerable. Many Americans know this now if they are dealing with unemployment.
But others are also experiencing rainy days. People who are trying to do it all after experiencing chronic illness and pain who have saved all their lives can weigh the cost against the benefit of having someone assist them with those tasks that have now become more difficult. Sometimes the cost of moving to a different environment with more services is worth it. Or sometimes paying children under a family agreement makes sense.
If we at some point need to fall back on what we have saved to make our lives more comfortable and less painful, this is what the savings were there for in the first place. The savings were always there for a rainy day.
About the Author Janet Colliton
Esquire, Colliton Law Associates, P.C. Janet Colliton has practiced law for over 38 years, 37 of them in Chester County, Pennsylvania, a suburb of Philadelphia. Her practice, Colliton Law Associates, PC, is limited to elder law, Medicaid, including advice, applications and appeals, and other benefits planning including Veterans benefits, life care and special needs planning, guardianships, retirement, and estate planning and administration.