{"id":5397,"date":"2019-11-20T11:03:46","date_gmt":"2019-11-20T16:03:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/collitonlaw.com\/?p=5397"},"modified":"2019-12-06T13:13:32","modified_gmt":"2019-12-06T18:13:32","slug":"deal-kindly-with-unequal-inheritances","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/collitonlaw.com\/deal-kindly-with-unequal-inheritances\/","title":{"rendered":"Deal Kindly With Unequal Inheritances"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">When a parent is inclined to leave a child out of her Will, it can lead to unintended consequences.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Disinheriting one or more children is usually not recommended if for no other reason than continuing family discord after your death.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, relationships are complicated and, if your intent is serious, before taking that step there are some considerations to mull over before potentially disinheriting your child and before leaving the task to advise him or her to the Executrix of your estate after your death.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"> The general understanding is that parents initially leave their estates each to the other and then equally to their children unless they have made other arrangements such as through establishing trusts.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However there is no rule and you can leave your estate to whomever you decide to leave it to.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>So what do you do when one or more of your children remains close to you or your spouse and others drift away only to be heard from on a holiday or with an occasional phone call or card?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>What to do if there are serious misunderstandings?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>When crisis strikes you might rely on that dependable child and feel disappointed by your distant child.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Estrangement could have resulted from disagreements either about life style or even some argument where no one remembers how it began. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"> You might not relate well to a daughter in law or son in law and that might result in estrangement.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>First, I might recommend, before disinheriting the distant child you give the relationship another chance.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Then, if that is not going to work and it is a serious estrangement, I would suggest the following.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\"><i>Do not simply leave your child out of the Will<\/i>.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>If you name all of your children but one and leave that child\u2019s name out of the Will, you raise the possibility that it happened by mistake.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>You can, if you wish, state at the beginning of the Will the individuals and family relationships and include the child stating you realize you have another child who is not provided for in this Will.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\"><i>Soften the blow by other means.<\/i>\u00a0<\/span>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">You might leave a smaller account, IRA, CD or other inheritance to the child so the child is not completely disinherited.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Understand that children often interpret what their parents have left to them as an indication whether their parent loved them.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>If you can, try to soften the blow.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Do not ever leave a $1 inheritance or other similar very token amount.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This only causes hard feelings.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It also means your Executrix will have to notify that person as a beneficiary.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It brings more work for her when the only purpose was to let your child know you were unhappy.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">If your child received a substantial loan from you that was never repaid or if you have otherwise made provision for your child during your lifetime, you might include in the Will a statement such as \u201cHaving otherwise provided for my child during my lifetime I am not leaving a bequest to my child in this Will.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, this is not due to any lack of regard or affection on my part.\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>If you find other wording that serves the same purpose you might use it.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Occasionally parents fail to leave an inheritance to one child on the theory that child does not need the money.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This is not recommended.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Again children often interpret their inheritance as how much they were loved during your lifetime.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"> On the other hand, if you want to leave more to your child who has greatly assisted you, there are ways outside the Will.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li4\"><span class=\"s4\">Family Agreement<\/span><span class=\"s1\"> \u2013 Where one or more children contribute substantially more to help aging parents, a written pay-as-you-go agreement during your lifetime may help to compensate them for their time and assistance and you do not have to wait until you die.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li4\"><span class=\"s4\">Life Insurance<\/span><span class=\"s1\"> &#8211; <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>Life insurance naming the child as beneficiary where you have otherwise provided for your funeral and final expenses is one way to say thank you.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li4\"><span class=\"s4\">Gifting During Life &#8211;<\/span><span class=\"s1\"><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>Where there are adequate funds and you are not concerned about Medicaid or other gifting restrictions you might use the annual $15,000 exclusionary gifting amount to compensate those who help.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Get advice first.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When a parent is inclined to leave a child out of her Will, it can lead to unintended consequences.\u00a0 Disinheriting one or more children is usually not recommended if for no other reason than continuing family discord after your death.\u00a0 However, relationships are complicated and, if your intent is serious, before taking that step there [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":5399,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[336],"tags":[94,251],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.8.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Deal Kindly With Unequal Inheritances -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/collitonlaw.com\/deal-kindly-with-unequal-inheritances\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta 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